What does forgiveness mean to you?
As I was working with a hypnosis client yesterday she repeatedly said that she thought her biggest problem would be resolved if she just “forgave”.
“Oh really?”, I inquired. I asked what forgiveness means to her.
She sincerely replied, “I think forgiveness means me letting go of the story.”
Heart to heart I replied, “The story is for us to learn from. The story is so we become wildly aware
of what our part was so we may never repeat the same horror story again.”
Forgiveness is the vehicle.
A memory without the emotional charge is wisdom. May you transition this pain into wisdom.
“Forgiveness” is the vehicle in this transition and let’s take a look at this thing called “forgiveness”.
Inner Prison of unforgiveness.
I remember hearing it like this; unforgiveness is like putting ourselves in a self made prison.
Somebody said something, did something and we are hurt/upset/angry. We have a feeling that we just don’t like and as far as we are concerned it’s the way they are “making me feel”.
We are holding ourselves in our self made prison with the expectation that we will forgive/feel better when they say or do something different. Yikes! That puts them in charge of our emotions/feelings/not well being/well being.
In other words, we won’t not feel hurt/upset/angry until they do something that will “make us” not feel hurt/upset/angry. Hell no! We make the prison on the inside of us when we decide to hold onto the awful feelings we are rightly experiencing from that thing. (side note; ‘ remember you have lots of other feelings too, like good feelings about other good stuff in your life)
Forgiveness is freeing yourself.
Step out of that prison and shout out, “I am free to feel better because I am not imprisoned by your words/actions/whatever. My well being is not contingent upon what you say or do or don’t say or do.”
Forgiveness is like saying, “You cannot pay the debt you owe me. You cannot make the wrongs right. I’m releasing you from the debt you cannot pay me.” You are stepping back into the fullness of your life in the midst of real life happening.
Forgiveness is not condoning whatever it was. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
Think about it for a moment. Who better to free you than you?! That’s right!
You don’t have to go it alone…
Call me (Joann Dunsing) @ 203-907-7710 for your complimentary phone consultation. Or click the button below and I’ll get back in touch with you as soon as possible.